What do writers want for the holidays?
I am here to give you the inside scoop:
- A new computer (one that is guaranteed not to crash, resistent to kids sticky fingers and spills, that weighs less than 5 lbs and folds up into a business card size.)
- Sharpies (Preferably red. Lots and lots of Red!)
- Reams and reams and reams of Recycled Paper. (If only paper would grow on trees. Oh yeah it does - crumbs!)
- More time - let me be more specific - more time for writing (not cleaning, watching TV, cooking, running errands, etc)
- Personalized, "we love you" rejection letters
- Offer of representation! (from an agent who can't live without me or my books!)
- A multi-book contract ( A 33 book deal would be ideal)
- Books! (Lots and lots of books)
- Ideas for YA books (please keep them commercial yet literary, balancing character-driven with plot-driven, with authentic character voice)
- Black Printer ink
- A sony reader or Kindle
- Money or a Money tree would be better (anything would help at this point)
- Optimism
- Cable Tv cancellation
- The ability to freeze time
- One of those cool, rare "agent mind-readers" (I think the Agent is sold seperately. But I would prefer the one that comes with a Agent.)
- A love-my-book potion designed specifically for Editors
- A glimpse into the future of publishing
- Fingers that run on auto-pilot
- Typing lessons
- A butt cushion (I need one that does 2 things: protects my butt from flattening AND is comfy)
- Hope - a life-time supply please
- Fat Free Peanut MMs (do they make those?
- Did I say Money?
- My own Personal muse
- A critique group that agents and publishes books
- Stop asking - "are you published yet?" (Trust me - I will tell you!)
- A secret hideaway office where kids are not allowed
- An introduction to Oprah or Ellen
- Free travel and hotel
- A brain hook-up to "everything you need to know in writing a book in a day"
- More blogger and Facebook friends
- To get published!
Also, check out InkyGirls cartoons for Writers. They are Funny!
I predict that you're going to end up with more red Sharpies than you could use in a lifetime. :)
ReplyDeletenever!
ReplyDeleteOh, the "are you published yet?" question! AUGH! I hate that about as much as I hate the "Did you have the baby yet?" question. Like something that momentous could happen without me shouting it to the rooftops.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I want that "love-my-book potion" for editors. Laughing maniacally. Oh the possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI also like your "brain hook-up" idea. I often wish I could download books into my brain as quickly as they downloaded knowledge in the Matrix...
ReplyDelete