The woes of Kindergarten

My daughter started the big K this week *sniff sniff*.

And, as expected, I did worse than she did.

On Tuesday morning, she jumped out of bed as soon as her new princess alarm clock went off singing. She was up and dressed before I could even open my eyes. (seeing as I had not gotten in until about 1:30 or 2 from LA.)

My daughter burst into my room and said, "I am more excited than if I was riding a huge rollercoaster." (I assumed that was big. Even though she has never ridden one, it summed it up pretty good. I got the point :)

The whole morning she was singing and buzzing around the house. She picked out her own clothes and came out and twirled. "Don't I look fancy?" She went on to explain (in great detail) why she chose her outfit and why it matched.

I think we were even 5 minutes early leaving the house, which for those who know me, know how hard that is and are probably in shock right now b/c I am always 15 minutes late.

When we got to the school, she clutched onto my hand. I did everything I could not to cry all the way into the building, down the hall, down the stairs and down her hall. Literally, I had a lump in my throat that reached my chest. I could not believe this was my little girl, going to big girl school, all day, away from me.

She was holding it together as if she was a pro. Me? squeezing back tears with every step. shaking. feeling sick to my stomach.

As we walked into the room, she slowed down a bit. She hung up her bag and turned to me: "Where are you going to sit Mommy?"

"What?"

"Well, aren't you the room parent? where are you going to sit?"

Gulp. "Oh honey. I am the room parent does not mean I STAY in the room all day."

Her face dropped. I almost heard her confidence hit the floor. "What?"

"You stay here on your own."

"But i thought you were room parent?"

And then I lose it too. I still tried so much to hold it together but when you are looking into those big hazel eyes, filled with water. It's hard!

Then the teacher walks in - and it is a SUBSTITUTE!

Are you kidding me?

She still wasn't crying but what got me the most was that her lip started to quiver. She was TRYING not to cry. She kept looking at the kids and back at me. She whispered under her breath, "Mommy? Could you just stay 5 more minutes?"

In that moment, I realized how much older she was now. A year ago, she would have cried and not cared who was around. (Usually in a public place :) Now, she was embarrassed to cry. She was worried about the kids in the classroom. She was trying to hold it in like I was.

The bell rings for school to start.

I said, "Honey I'm going to go now. The bell just rang. School starts now and you will have such a blast here."

Then, she completely lost it and gripped onto my leg like a koala bear and its mommy.

My writer-side kicked in.

I took a little leather "S" off my keychain and clipped it to her belt. "Did you know this was a magic key chain?"

She stops crying for a second. "Really? how do you know?"

"Because I use it all the time and it helps me feel safe."

She smiles and wipes her face. She sits down on the rug and watches me leaving, tears rolling down her still-baby cheeks.

I waved and walked out.

My tears started and I cried all the way to the car and in the car.

Images of my baby girl growing up flashed through my mind. My emergency delivery for "failure to progress." The hard first 6 months when we were not sure what affect her heart defect would have on her and us. The emergency room visits. Her first steps. Her first words. Her 5 years flashed in front of me.

Now she was a big girl.

I watched the clock all day, waiting until I could pick her up. I called the school a couple of times and they said if she was really upset, the counselor would visit her. It's not like PreK where I could just go get her early. make her feel better with a mommy lunch or ice cream cone. I couldn't not sneak back in the school and peek through the window to see she was OK. That no one was being mean to her. That she was not sad. In K, you have to sign in.....evidently in blood if you want to visit the classroom.

Finally 2 oclock.

I race out the door, speed to the school, and pace outside, waiting for her class to be released. Different scenarios played out in my head. What if she cried all day? what if she hated it? what if someone pushed her? what if someone hurt her feelings?

Then, I see her little face come around the corner.

A smile from ear to ear.

She runs into my arms and hugs me.

"how was your day honey? was it OK?"

I wait for the horrible day to unfold.

"Mommy, I sang I love kindergarten all the way down the hall. But I whispered it to myself so no one could hear."

The panic floating inside me all day seeped out. I was so happy for her. So excited for her to start a new life.

"And you know what else Mommy?"

"What honey?"

"Tomorrow, I want to walk myself to my classroom. Without you."

"Well let's just take it slow."

"I can do it."

"I know you can. But I'm not ready for that yet. What were the happy parts about your day?"

She grips my hand and as we walk to the car, she fills me in about music class, art, and reading. She tells me about her two new friends. And explains the word "absent" to me.

"Any sad parts?"

"No."

There it is. My baby girl was gone. Replaced by a wonderful and brave little girl.

"Well, there was one thing."

"What?"

"I missed you."

Today she did much better.

Me? Not so much.

What I learned in LA (outside of the amazing knowledge I have already shared)

• Friends you have met online are just as important to you as your friends in person. They know you so well. (heartfelt shout out to Kim, Katie, Lindsay, and SF Hardy)

• I love blogger buddies, they are even cooler in person. (shout out to Sherri, Lisa S, Christy, Elizabeth, Jess, Heather, Amanda, Suzanne, Jay, Shana, Jolie, Cindy P, Tammy Sauer, Cynthea Liu, LK)

• New friends that you connect to in a special way, that laugh at the same things you do, and that you will never forget are hard to find but when you find them, you know they are forever (shout out to Stephanie, Tyler, Bill, Graehm, and Paul)
  

• Agent and editors are people too. They can be cool if you let them. (special shout out to Marietta and Sarah!)

• I am a writer at heart. Always have and always will be.
  

• I will go to LA as much as I can. It is so worth it. IN more ways than I can possibly put into words. To be in a room full of book worms is very rewarding and now I know - I am not weird! Ok wait. I am weird so I guess I learned - you all are weird too!

• I have a short - no very short - attention span.

• My butt flattened from sitting in those chairs. I swear it is about an inch wider.

• Never wear your heels to the food court - one word - blisters. price you pay for looking good!

• SF Hardy takes good notes so I dont have to. Hope she lets me copy hers ;)

• Sometimes you learn more in the lobby than in the classrooms.

• Egmont's profits go to children's charities. They are technically a not-for-profit publisher.
  

• SCBWI rocks!

• I am inspired to write more.

• It is possible to sell a book and get published all within 6 months! (believe it! t happened per Wendy Loggia)

• Alot of writers are funny!

• The boys bathroom is a whole different universe that us girls will NEVER understand. nor would we want to (which of course would only be for a boy book research)

Pure brilliance!

SCBWI LA - Day 3

Today was a fun day! duh! I'll post pictures next week b/c Ive been using Katie's camera :)

I skipped the first session for a quiet coffee and laughs with Lindsay leavitt and Lisa Schroeder. I haven't changed. I do not feel cool unless I skip something. It's leftover from my school days. It makes me fee like a rebel! :)

Highlights:
1) I tripped in front of 921 people and screamed in a large room. This is not very surprising if you knew me.
2) I saw a man try to hand a manuscript to an agent. when she would not take it - he opened her laptop and put it inside.
3) after an editor said, " I do not take zombie books or board books" a guy asked this question: "Do you take zombie board books?" do we not get rejected enough that we have to ask for a double rejection?
4) someone saying to me - You look so cute in your blog picture (what not in person? :()
5) someone saying to me - your funny in person (what not on my blog?)


Holly Black - Fantasy

• Only a small combination of fear and awe separates fantasy and horror
• get the concrete stuff down - the real stuff must be real even though the fantastical elements surround it
• know your world - think about rules, system, formal policies vs informals, how does your world work. are their laws?
• World building - fantasy can resemble historical fiction b/c you have to convince readers must go to a place they have never been or where they can never go back, they feel like they've been there.
• Two types of logic - day logic - there are rules and everything is the same. You get the same results, it is a science; night logic - rules are unpredictable. you must know your rules.
• Two types of magic - closed magic is magic that is hidden (harry potter - real world doe snot know about wizard world); open magic - it is a part of life (Trueblood - everyone knows about vampires.)
• Fantasy has two story archs - fantastical and human. Human stories starts earlier and ends later than the fantastical story.

Elizabeth Law - Egmont

• Don't be afraid to talk to editors and agents
• Follow your strengths when you write - not the market or what you WANT to write. If you are good a PBs then don't do historical fiction o

Egmont

• 100 years in UK with no american branch
• new - the next Bloomsbury and Candlewick
• non profit publishing house - all profits go back into business and children's charities. (unique set up)
• children's book industry is stable and growing.
• competition among writers is tiff - alot of great writers out there
• use books as inspiration not a formula that you copy
• know why your book can sell and what the pitch is
• book scan - shows how book did in $
  

5 Tips

1. Social networking - publishers interested in social networking to reach readers. Get online and start your platform now. However, if you are not writing, you are online too much.
2. Voice - Voice is not enough in a story. You must HAVE a story.
3. Strengths - better to do what you do well than what you THINK you do well
4. Take control of career. It is ok to follow up with submissions after reasonable amount of time. usually 3 months.
   
5. don't complain - especially online. If i see something negative about someone, I wont take it

Goofs

1. don't write to trends. write what you are passionate about
2. dont change the age of your character to fit the market.
3. don't be afraid to talk to your agent.
4. take control of career

E.B. White quote: I wake up with the desire to improve the world or enjoy the world, this makes it hard to plan my day.

Richard Peck - Golden kite lunch

Sat next to Marietta from Nancy Galt agency. She was hilarious. I highly recommend her as an agent. down to earth and passionate. she is looking for all kids books especially if they have passion.

• Don't be afraid to take risks, we can not be fired, we are already unemployed.
• Kids create their own secret worlds the minute parents turn their backs, why not give them books.
• stories are roadmaps to show the illiterates out of town
• we are getting older, but somehow our readers stay the same age.
• all stories turn on an epiphany - when everything changes and you know you can't go back.
• You wonder if there is a boy down the hole if you can safe him. Can the story help? That is what we do, that is who we are.

Frank Portman - King Dork
(panel with his agent Steven Malk and editor Krista Marino/RH)

• He was a musician.
• Steven Malk heard him play and thought his songs were funny.
• His song titles include: Even Hitler has a girlfriend, King Dork etc
• Steven approached him about writing a book and invited Krista to hear him play.
• he wrote 30 pages of king dork and Steven sold it to Random House
• he is brilliant at marketing.
• Humiliation is key in promotion
• use all your contacts
• build relationships
• market your own books/be creative
• figure out who would like your work
• always be nice, friendly and approachable

Main points:

• take from everywhere in your life
• read a ton of books
• market your books hard
• find editor that gets you and your voice - they need to love it.
• put in time and beat the streets
• blog!!!
• use your connections
• remember the process is collaborative - don't be afraid to revise

Since this is the last night, we all went to dinner. me and katie, SF Hardy, Kimberly, Paul, Bill Cochran, Tyler, and Stephanie - great asian place with waterfalls.

hung outside and laughed until about 10:30 our time.

I leave tomorrow at 2pm for airport.

PS this conference is worth the money - if not for the classes and energy. But for the networking and meeting people.

PSS I met two editors who want to see my work when it goes on sub! yay!

Day in LA - Day 2

Today seemed like a longer day.

I think it was because I was not focused on my book so much.

Started out with a coffee meeting with Southern Breeze Region - shout out to Donna and Jo! :)

Met Sherry (Write it out) and Katie for breakfast.

First session was Karen Cushman -

Nuggets of Brilliance:
"I wrote because I couldn't dance."
* To focus on your writing, you need to:
* You have to show up - take time to fantasize, give power to your thoughts. Be present everyday.
* Pay attention - look around, stuff yourselves with sounds, words, images, conversations. Focus on what you love or hate - those bring out the deepest emotions and you get an honest reaction. Read blogs, interviews, books to learn about the market
* You must tell the truth - look for facts, do your research to add believability
make people connect through the realness of your book

Break out with Ari Lewin (Hyperion) - Acquisition process
1) read submissions. Agented only.
2) Take work to Editorial Board - everyone in department. She pitches book. Discuss book. what awards can they potentially get. what is the audience. what is the hook? when is best to put it out - what can we tie book promotion to (dates, events time of year etc).
3) Goes to Acquisitions - includes all publishers, sales, marketing and publicity. They can make or break a sale, especially in this economy. Goes in with flap copy to pitch. At this point, she does not yet call agent b/c she does not want to tip them off to any possible offer. They do not like auction situations. Fill out acquisitions form - what is the sell sentence.
4) Money - how many will sell. advance is based on that. Don't want advance too high so author can earn out advance.
5) Gives offer to agent - negotiates terms
6) sometimes takes right on, sometimes I do a noncontractual agreement which states what I think needs to be done to book for me to acquire it. If author agrees, they work on revisions with hope I will like it in the end.
7)Contract Request Form. Fill in for contract that has been accepted. Fill in subrights, rights, Lewin only gets 1 out of 7 manuscripts for various reason.

Earn out formula- retail price X royalty X # copies

Fyi on top contract clauses:
Look for option clause, high discount royalties, foreign rights, audio rights, Out of print clause.

Blogger buddies here is who I have met so far:
heather Hanson
Amanda Morgan
Cindy Pon
Cynthea Liu
Tammy sauer
LK Madigan
Lisa Shroeder
Shana Silverman
kathleen duey
Bill cochran
Christy Raeke
Jill Corogan
Suzanne Young
jess Jordon (finally :)
Sherry Peterson

Anica Rissci - Simon Pulse/Krista Marino (Delacorte) - Teen trends

*long series going away - buy very view open series; usually focus on trilogy, 2 books, quartets
* teens follow authors today, not series
* teens like reality-based but in fantastical ways (example Hunger Games, Twilight)
* No more Bitch Lit - dropping name brands on book
* teens like dark books right now. Not as much funny stuff.
* advances for large books staying high. advances for their authors - going down.
* saving money by doing digital galleys and digital catalogues
* Galleys cost 3 times more than books to make.

Wendy Loggia - Delacorte - 7 reasons she rejects a book
We have to be mean to be nice.
1) good writing but no story. No plot. heavy on telling.light on action. It is not EZ to reject a great manuscript when you see potential.
2) too similar to other novels on list or has worked on in past. If it is similar - it must be better.
3) unsure of who target audience/reader is? who do I market the book to?
4) If writer seems difficult or negative. Googles to find blogs and see if they are bashing fellow editors, agent friends, any of her books, authors, negative reviews or complaining about process. writers who belabor process. do not share anything about number of rejections online. If I know 20 houses have passed, I wonder why I should not pass.
5) love concept but cannot connect to voice
6) submitting too early - before work has been done
7) will not stand out on list.

I went outside and read with a glass of wine. Talked to Sarah Davies for a while.

Went to Blue Moon Party. Best costume went to an alien octopus (don't ask). Other costumes: blue man group, astronauts, aliens, blue butt