3 S.R. Johannes: A Writers Wish List for the Holidays

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Writers Wish List for the Holidays

What do writers want for the holidays?

I am here to give you the inside scoop:

  • A new computer (one that is guaranteed not to crash, resistent to kids sticky fingers and spills, that weighs less than 5 lbs and folds up into a business card size.)
  • Sharpies (Preferably red. Lots and lots of Red!)

  • Reams and reams and reams of Recycled Paper. (If only paper would grow on trees. Oh yeah it does - crumbs!)

  • More time - let me be more specific - more time for writing (not cleaning, watching TV, cooking, running errands, etc)

  • Personalized, "we love you" rejection letters

  • Offer of representation! (from an agent who can't live without me or my books!)

  • A multi-book contract ( A 33 book deal would be ideal)

  • Books! (Lots and lots of books)

  • Ideas for YA books (please keep them commercial yet literary, balancing character-driven with plot-driven, with authentic character voice)

  • Black Printer ink

  • A sony reader or Kindle

  • Money or a Money tree would be better (anything would help at this point)

  • Optimism

  • Cable Tv cancellation

  • The ability to freeze time

  • One of those cool, rare "agent mind-readers" (I think the Agent is sold seperately. But I would prefer the one that comes with a Agent.)

  • A love-my-book potion designed specifically for Editors

  • A glimpse into the future of publishing

  • Fingers that run on auto-pilot

  • Typing lessons

  • A butt cushion (I need one that does 2 things: protects my butt from flattening AND is comfy)

  • Hope - a life-time supply please

  • Fat Free Peanut MMs (do they make those?

  • Did I say Money?
  • My own Personal muse

  • A critique group that agents and publishes books

  • Stop asking - "are you published yet?" (Trust me - I will tell you!)

  • A secret hideaway office where kids are not allowed

  • An introduction to Oprah or Ellen

  • Free travel and hotel

  • A brain hook-up to "everything you need to know in writing a book in a day"

  • More blogger and Facebook friends

  • To get published!
If anyone needs my address, please ask :)

Also, check out InkyGirls cartoons for Writers. They are Funny!


Anonymous said...

I predict that you're going to end up with more red Sharpies than you could use in a lifetime. :)

Shelli (srjohannes) said...


Carrie Harris said...

Oh, the "are you published yet?" question! AUGH! I hate that about as much as I hate the "Did you have the baby yet?" question. Like something that momentous could happen without me shouting it to the rooftops.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I want that "love-my-book potion" for editors. Laughing maniacally. Oh the possibilities.

Anonymous said...

I also like your "brain hook-up" idea. I often wish I could download books into my brain as quickly as they downloaded knowledge in the Matrix...