A chance in hell is better than no chance at all!

I am contemplating heavy revisions suggested by a couple of AWESOME AGENTs - And if I do them and I MIGHT be able to resubmit.

Sound simple?

It is.

All I would have to do is......pretty much change the WHOLE plot? No problem.

I actually agreed with most of the comments and had been contemplating the exact changes for several weeks now. So this may be a confirmation of where I need to go.

No matter what the edits are or where I go from here. I am thrilled. For the first time, I feel like a couple agents are getting me, my writing, and connecting to my character. What an awesome feeling!

One actually said, "my writing was nuanced, subtle, character-driven and heart wrenching."

Another said, "they loved my voice".

I've read the comments like 1,000 times, you would think they were starred reviews from Publisher's Weekly.

Wow, could agents really think that about my writing? I've been smiling ever since.

I thought I would be stressed out but I'm actually kind of excited to see where the story takes me. Don't get me wrong, I love my book, but a part of me is interested to see if it could be even better. Besides, who cares. I have a shot! A chance, though a small chance, at someone awesome and I'm going to go for it! If I do the changes, whether the agents say yes or no - a chance in hell is better than no chance at all. right?

I think I am ready to give up control on my book and trust the process.

So I may be back to the "plotting board".

I've got some great ideas and I know if I embark on this process - it will challenge me and my writing. But for those who know me, know I LOVE a challenge. I actually prefer to travel the hard route. It's much more of a journey and it makes the reward so much better to know you've gone to hell and back and stuck with it. I think going through this process could teach me a lot about myself and about my writing.

So I'm thinking...bring it on!

Don't get me wrong, I wish one o fthem would have taken me before the edits but at least I get another shot. If just one is willing to take a chance on me - why shouldn't I take a chance on them? I think it goes both ways. So maybe I'll try to prove myself and know as long as I do my best, no matter what happens, I'm still another step forward.

In this economy I don't think agents can afford to take writers on unless they are 90% happy with the book. I also think agents see revising as a skill totally separate from writing. So this may be a new skill for me to learn. I think agents need to know that you can write and revise. Because revision is part of the process - no matter how big or small.

And you know what? If I do embark on these changes - I have no attachments to the outcome. Of course I would LOVE an agent to pick me up b/c out of all the rejections, only a couple seem to get my writing. I still have a couple of fulls out now so we'll see. These were my top agents, so I'm happy with where I am so far.

But what if another one comes back and says they love it as is? I may just take some time to really think about the book and what I feel it should be. And if someone comes back, I'll just go from there. I don't think its fair to be doing edits for more than one agent - to me or the agent.

But I am just holding onto the fact that it is a step forward. I have come so far. To have top agents send me a long personal letter with recommendations on edits offering to rereview? OMG kill me now because I could really die happy today.

Kinda sad that I am doing a happy dance at "almost yes". Can you imagine what I will do WHEN I get a yes from someone and then sell my book? I don't think my heart can take it. :)

So I guess its true, God can only give me what I can handle. :)

Wish me luck!

Back to work - happily!