3 S.R. Johannes: Wierd Wed - I've lost my marbles & I'm off my rocker?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wierd Wed - I've lost my marbles & I'm off my rocker?

Marketing: The Five senses
  1. Hear - Use podcasts, book trailers, songs on your web sites, playlists

  2. Sight - use appealing colors, brand your materials, be visible, use different channels

  3. Touch - high quality products, professional papers, give them something to take away

  4. Taste - Offer chocolate at signings, etc. (Don't scoff - people always go for this one)

  5. Smell - Ok so 4 out of 5 ain't bad. :) Unless you can offer some type of scratch and sniff or aromatic candle.

I've lost my marbles & I'm off my rocker?
For those of you - in addition to my hubby - who have suffered through my complains of a long-standing ear infection.

This blog's is for you. But before you exit out of the blog assuming it is boring - trust me this is interesting.

And just think, today - you'll be able to say "learn something new every day".

After months of ear infections and dizziness/vertigo, I finally went to see an ENT.

Evidently I have a vestibular disorder (which never sounds good) which means my vestibular system is lazy/weak. (which also doesn't sound good)

BTW - try saying vestibular disorder 5 x.

WTF is a vestibular disorder you say?

Let me clear it up for you.

It's when calcium particles called otoliths (or otoconia) become inappropriately displaced into the semicircular canals of the labyrinth of the inner ear causing dizziness, vertigo, and insanity.

Still confused? Me too.

Maybe this will help.

The otoliths become displaced by AGING, (check! how depressing) infection (check), head trauma (from slamming my head against the wall) or labyrinthine disease (3 for 4 ain't bad). and then become free-floating within the inner ear.

Changing the position of the head causes the otoliths to move, which in turn causes the endolymph to stimulate the hair cells (Don't ask) , causing vertigo.

Any movement which involves changing the position of the head including getting out of bed or rolling can aggravate this condition. (Which means EVERYTHING! Think how much you move your head!)

Say what? Translation please ?
I just think it is a nice way of saying I have lost my marbles or am off my rocker. Also means I feel drunk all the time. Now, if it was just for a day, I'd get you to give me a woot woot! But this is most of the time, I'm now over it and long from craving my favorite dirty martinis.

So what now?
That's right physical therapy. (you mean there are no drugs?)

So for 200$ a pop! - I have to go through tilting exercises to shift the otoconia back into position.
You know those little games you play where you try to get the little annoying rolling ball back in the little tiny hole by tilting it (throwing it/stomping on it/beating it/breaking it) around.

That's it.

BTW - I hated those! Now I live as one - I realize it's a skill I should have mastered. Ironic huh?

It also means, I have to write post this while hanging upside. (No, just kidding :)

What has this taught me?
It is amazing how connected everything is in our body. Our ears connect to our stomach, eyes and ankles (again don't ask). The messages from the vestibular systems feed by vestibular nerves into the vestibular centers (nuclei) in the brainstem. These centers also receive input from the eyes, muscles, spinal cord, and joints.

I also take my body for granted.

Did you know?
  • Your ear is (somehow) connected to your eyes and stomach. That's why when you have an ear infection you see weird spots and get nauseated easily.

  • The smallest is the stirrup bone in the ear which can measure 1/10 of an inch.

  • The antennae of the Butterfly are supposed to act as hearing organs.

  • Clams hear with their feet.

  • Bees do not have ears.

  • Some scientist believe human ears evolved from fish gills.

  • Mammals are the only animals with external ears (flaps on the outside).

  • A giraffe can clean its ears with its 50cm (20 in) tongue.
So what does this mean?
  • I'm fine. I will get better.

  • Things could be much worse.

  • And I've stopped drinking.

  • I don't have to work out.

  • If I get pulled over and suspicious of a DUI - I will fail the walk in a straight line test.

  • I have a reason to ignore my hubby:) Though miraculously, I can still hear my kids fighting (yes they do that even at 5 and 18months ugh)

  • I cannot be a type-rope walker.

  • Dancing is out of the question.
But you know what - if I lay down with my head at a 33.33% angle - I can still write - so things could be worse! Right?

Looking deeper

For those who know me, you could probably guess that this amount of information is not enough for me. I - of course - always look for a deeper meaning and universal sign from the Big Boss. I believe our bodies talk to us and give us messages especially when things are out of balance. (No pun intended!)
So it makes sense because I am in my head waaaaay too much.
So I found this online: Those who have sensitive inner ears (Wait, does that mean lazy?) , have an interior perception of truth as if it were told to them; and they speak and write it obediently, delighting in it, and perceiving that it is true because it agrees with their interior life.

Learn something new everyday. Just think - I may have raised your IQ a couple points.

Thanks for listening! (Pun intended!)


Casey Something said...

I'm not laughing at your vestibular issues or anything but this post was highly amusing.

: )

Thanks for the fascinating lesson on otoliths, ears, and animals.

Katie Anderson said...

My oh my! How crazy! Did you see that Lindsey Leavitt gave you an award?!

wendy said...

Sorry about your ear! I read an article last year sometime about that vestib...ear...you know - that ear thingy problem and how tilting your head just right could fix it. How interesting to know that it really does work!

take it easy!

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

Casey - i know you are laughing with me :)

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

Katie - thx for notice - hadnt seen it yet! im flattered (blush, blush)

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

Wendy - thx for coming :)

Carrie Harris said...

I'm reading this way late, but I'm sending you retroactive feel-better vibes. My hubby is a doctor, so I'm constantly learning interesting stuff like this. Unfortunately, it seems to happen when I'm eating, but that's okay.

Anonymous said...

I love how you find the deeper meaning in things...so cool.

Anonymous said...

I used to take joy in looking for deeper meanings. Once when my son was still in a stroller, I walked past a huge tree after a storm. After I passed the tree, a ginormous limb came crashing down right where we had been. Once my heart rate slowed, I remember thinking, "Keep walking...cuz the worst is behind you now."

Unknown said...

Reading this and thinking of you with your neck brace on :(. I hope you are better.

you were saying about your ear being connected to everything. Felt the same way after my knee surgery. I'd move my pinky and have pain in my knee. Chronic pain is the worst. Thinking of you...

Anonymous said...

Reading this post again after you've learned what's really the issue is interesting. My heart goes out to you at how difficult it must have been...