3 S.R. Johannes: Its a word, its a domain....its Mega Byte Man!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Its a word, its a domain....its Mega Byte Man!

Marketing Muse - Plan it in small chunks!
Each Monday morning (or Sunday evening, or whenever you do your weekly planning) write down 5 marketing activities you will accomplish during the coming week. Break each down into quick-to-do tasks and larger tasks. Then schedule them into your week — and do them.

MegaByte Man (AKA Hubby)

Wow - hubby to the rescue. I knew it was more than just his great looks, sweet disposition, calming attitude, father-of-the-year, joke-wheeling, foot-rubbin, argument-diffusing , leftover-eatin', neurotic lady-lover, early-riser ways, sexy british accent ways. Now I can add one more thing to the long list of reasons why I love my hubby: his soft ways with a hard drive.

I knew there was a reason I put up with his towel-throwin', old-hankerchief-in-the-laundry, toilet- flushing-avoider irritants.

Because I have my own Super Hero!

And he saved the day.....again...as the computer saga continues......

After my computer (AKA Lucifer) kicked the bucket, my hubby spent hours Friday night and early Sat morning performing "mouse-to-mouse" resuscitation. The final TOCD (time of cyber-death) was officially logged as 9:07 am Saturday morning. Hubby worked hard and did not give up until we witnessed the hard drive make a loud "booming/popping" sound followed by the sweet smell of burnt metal.

Followed by my daughter's insightful proclamation: "Mommy! Your computer just blew up into 1,000 pieces!"

But does hubby give up?

No - he spends more hours do anything he can to finally grab my documents off the computer - how? I have no clue and personally don't care.

The results? The "Newberry-Worthy" chapter has been retrieved.

So, still kicking and screaming at Luciufer, he drags me to Best Buys to invest in another "pain in the butt". Of course, this was after I checked to be 100% sure Mercury is NOT in retrograde this time. (For those who are not familiar with this planetary concept - when Mercury is in retrograde, anything electrical breaks down. Phones, computers, cars, ipods, kindles - anything. So if you buy an electrical piece during a Mercury retrograde - you are completely hosed. And, I am now a true believer.

I strolled through the computer aisles feeling old/ancient. I haven't looked at computers in years. And though they are smaller and thinner, all I can say is - I want XP!!!! Not windows vista and not a MAC, ugh! I throw another tantrum after exploring Vista only to realize its all different from what I am used to. I stomp out of the store without a computer, even more bitter (if that is possible) about being abandoned by Lucifer.

I flet codependent upon something that was not good for me. Something that cased me pain.

Felt kinda like I was in high school again - when I truly believed a BAD DATE to prom was better than NO DATE at all.

So once again - my date has decided to ditch me at the last minute just before the big dance. Me left with the overly large carnation corsage that my DAD bought me. Still standin gin the big blue dress with hoop skirt sagging underneath.

Left alone.

When I get home from Best Buys. I pout for a couple more hours as my initial bitterness transforms into a seriously bad mood.

At one point when my 5 year old daughter was picking at me, I bark - "If I were you I would not mess with Mommy today, my computer died."

I see my hubby in the background motion her over to safety. But not before she says "Was it living?"

Ha - my point exactly! No it was not living - it just here taking up space with a ultimate goal of ruining my life. Dead yet pretending to be alive the whole time just waiting for the right moment to hurt me.

The zombie of computers.

As I stew and stew, I suddenly realize that even though I got back my documents, all of my email folders are gone. The archive was missing and my inbox eliminated. Now I am someone that keeps all of emails. Not only for business but for personal. Like agent emails! (yes even Agent 001's fantastic email :( Things I may never use again, I still store. After all - you never know.

A hoarders last words.

So all my emails from years back - clients, friends, jokes, agents - all gone! What? Panic sets in and I finally break down and cry at the magnitude of Lucifer leaving me high and dry. I guess he got the last word.

So I am screwed right?


Hubby (AKA Mega Byte Man) flies to the rescue! He spends the day working on my laptop and finally calls in his trusty sidekick team - the Geek Squad from Best Buys. Together they a way to get onto my dead hard drive and download all my email folders.

Now who has the last word!

Damage has been 90% contained.

There is a cyber god after all.

My utter bitterness morphs into gratitude. I guess things could be worse. Right?

Today, I wake up and decide that Munster (my 10 year old IBM computer) will have to do for now. My hubby sets him up as the stand-in date. The backup - the best friend.

Why? because I refuse to spend money on a laptop because I have too. I refuse to let Lucifer break me down and control my computer-life any longer. I will get a partner when I am ready.

So good ole - Munster is back on the scene. Though he is still grumbling about coming out of his long overdue retirement, he is up to the task. Munster was always reliable in the old days and stood by me.

So for those of you asking - Why didn't she just get a new computer ? (PS Hubby agrees with you.) - I will gladly answer....

1) because I am stubborn. And though it is painful for others when I get this stubborn, that stubborness is what pushes me through this crazy publishing process. Because when I get a no, I seek a yes even harder.
2) I refuse to be forced into doing something. And yes I even have to prove Lucifer - a inanimate computer - wrong. he is not going to tell me what to do or manipulate me . I certainly don't want to be forced by Lucifer into getting a computer that I don't really want because it is on sale. I want to get what I want the next time I succumb to a cyber-relationship. I dont want to be forced to choose the one on sale or the one that is too big b/c I can't justify a bigger expense.
3) But most of all - it is because I said I wouldn't. And I am someone who sticks to my word no matter what it costs me. No matter how I suffer. I told myself and my hubby I would wait to get a new computer when I had agent/contract. Until I was officially industry-validated. That I would not spend hard-earned cash until I worked hard to earn it.

The next time I buy a computer - it will be on my cyber-terms.

I want to get a computer and start something new. To have a clean slate in a new chapter in my life.

So for now, Munster it is.

And, if an agent is out there contemplating picking me up and feels sorry for my computer drama.

Do it for Munster - he deserves to rest in peace.

Unlike Lucifer who in forever happy in cyber-hell!

So thanks to my Mega Byte Man:

  • For fighting for me and my little chapter.
  • For wrestling with a computer on his sunny saturday.
  • For listening to me rant and rave about how the Cyber-God is not fair.
  • For putting up with my cyber bad mood.
  • For offering to buy me a new computer when money is tight.
  • For listening to me ponder whether this computer crash is a sign of something.
  • For helping me see that the world has not ended.
  • But most of all - for believing still - that my writing is worthy!

Here's to my superman!


Carrie Harris said...

How nice that your hubby fixed it all for you! My computer (The Frumious Bandersnatch) went kablooie a couple of weeks ago. My husband was kind enough to listen to me while I had a nervous breakdown. That's going above and beyond the call of duty right there.

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness your hubby could fix things. When anything like that happens here we look at each other and shrug. Also, this was really, really funny. Do you work this attitude into one of your characters? Cause you know you really should! Cracked me up.vicky shecter

Anonymous said...

okay, love, love love the young guy superman (what's his name again? dayum he's delicious) and I always liked christopher reeve but i'm sorry, the guy from the sixties with the unmuscular body and the "panties" higher than his waist absolutley wins it for pure unadulterated CAMP. Love him!

Unknown said...

Cyber-terms. Love it! I agree with A- this is a "character" you should delve into.

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud when I read the part when you "barked" to your little girl that now is not a good time to "mess with Mommy." I do that to! Especially when I'm hormonal (menopausal--sob!). I usually get "quiet" (i.e., clenched teeth) and say something like, "Mom's in the RED ZONE right now. I recommend that you RUN, RUN for your lives." Okay, I don't really say the second part but they see it in my eyes. And it even works sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Also, this post terrified me. I have back-ups of key projects but dang, I could NOT imagine losing emails and everything. [shudders] Aw man, I hope I didn't just jinx myself...

Anonymous said...

Mouse to mouse. I love it.

I also save my emails, but knowing that computers do not last forever, I back them up to Word. Yes, that means that every month I spend an evening going through all my emails, deleting the boring ones, and cutting and pasting the interesting ones into a Word document. Or rather several Word documents. I have separate ones for friends who email me regularly. I do a new one each month for the ones I've sent out. I learned long ago that my emails to certain friends are almost like journal entries, so that's what I save them as.

Sometimes I discuss plotting points with my friends. Later, I can go back and do a search on a character's name and retrieve those conversations. It also comes in handy for looking things like a friend's birthday that I forgot the date of.

Does that sound weird? I never know whether I'm onto something or I'm simply a complete dweeb.