No matter what stage of writing you are in, we all get different kinds of rejection letters. I have had my share. What we forget is that agents and editors get them too and they are just as painful. (ok maybe not JUST but they hurt).As I hear of other's rejections, I started thinking about how much getting published is like we're dating all over again trying to find Mr. Right (or Mrs :).
I've heard of many rejections over the years and think I can safely categorize them into the most common dating scenarios so it will be easier for you to tell which editors or agents are just not that into you.
This is just to show you that even after you have a commercial idea, with a good voice that has been edited to death - sometimes - it is just about being at the right place at the right time. Finding the right person.
It's the X factor.
Unfortunately, sometimes it seems like we all live in Alaska and there are only 50-100 members of the opposite sex and our sex consists of about 10,000 people.
1. You are not right for our list
You are just not my type. I prefer blondes and you are a brunette.
2. We love the book and premise, but didn't quite connect enough.
We love you, but we are not in love with you.
3. This one does not work for me but I'd be interested in seeing something else of yours.
Can we just be friends? BTW does your friend have a boyfriend?
4. You are a wonderful writer with great potential. After much contemplation, regretfully, I'm going to have to pass.
It's not you... it's me.
5. You deserve someone who is passionate about your work.
You deserve the best and it's not me.
6. Our list is full.
My calendar is booked for the next several weekends. I'll call you, don't call me.
7. Should you choose to replot your book, we would be inclined to see it again.
If you lose 10 lbs, dye your hair, and dress better - I might take you out (but I cant guarantee it or that I will pay).
8. While your story showed some very strong writing, it just didn’t hold my interest.
You are funny and nice, but I'm not attracted to you.
9. No response to your query
I didn't have time to call you back. I was busy. (Just not that into you)
10. You are clearly a writer to watch.
I'm moving on but I'm sure I will regret it when you date someone else.
11. Please give me some time to think through how you would fit into our list.
I have a headache.
12. Form letter
The wing man calls you to say he's not interested or you get a text.
I once heard of a guy who sent back a rejection letter to an agent rejecting his rejection.
“ Thank you so much for your rejection but I’m afraid I’m unable to use it at this time. For that reason I will have to reject your rejection. Please don’t take this personally. I receive many fine rejections every month, so I have be quite selective in the rejections I accept.”
I do not recommend this but it will make you laugh.
Here's to getting a great rejection and a few articles that might help you feel better.
- Some famous rejections that went to well-known writers.
- The 10 hidden gifts of receiving rejection letters.
- Deconstructing rejection letters
48 comments:
All too true, especially having gone through dating again in my 30s between marriages. I think I handle rejection MUCH better now than before dating again. The whole thing gave me a perspective on timing and perseverance that I didn't have before.
I love it! These are great and put a little perspective around some of the nebulous responses we get. Thanks for some humor to start out the day.
This was a pretty clever analogy and here I'd thought I would never have to go through all that teen angst again. I've seen some of these famous rejections. So we're in good company but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
Ha! Well said, and so very true. It's a subjective business that we have chosen and we've got to be patient and willing to kiss a lot of frogs before finding that match.
Your list is hilarious! As I'm about to jump into this process, I'm gearing up for various forms of rejections and at least I can look back on this post and smile. Thanks!
This is great! And true:(
P.S. I can't believe the rejection letter to Anne Frank!
"It's not you, it's me"
I love it! Great and hilarious list.
Ha! Great post.
Love it! It took me five years to finally marry my husband after we initially met. (He was in Europe, I was here in the U.S., so part of the problem was location.)
However, if it takes me that long to get published...
I love this! You have a great sense of humor. :)
So funny!! And so true!! I laughed especially at #7. :)
It's certainly easier to understand the rejection once you've found some success, but still frustrating. Laughter is always a good balm.
Oh my dear! I feel honored to be among the likes of Oscar Wilde, Anais Nin, George Orwell and Kenneth Grahame!
LOVE your rejection/dating scenarios.
LOL, thanks for the laugh this morning!
So cute! LOVE #7!!! :-)
I love this. At least, when the rejections start coming in, I'll be able to laugh. (And I thought when I got married, I would never have to go back to the dating game again.)
I loved #7 and #11! What a hoot.
That is so true. And #3...lol! =)
Great way to put perspective on rejections.
I loved # 7 and it's funny because it's true.
Great post, and so so true. Love finding humor in rejection.
Lol. I probably should not have read this after sending out another batch of queries. Anyway, lets see what sort of rejections I get :)
And, I thought I was through with dating ... :-O LOL, great analogy.
Very funny post! Thanks for sharing. :D
That's funny, I've seen quite a few of your examples! Great list.
Ha! Great post. I needed a laugh today, too.
LOL! This is such a great post and SO TRUE! Thanks for the laugh!
These are fabulous, Shelli! And perfect. I needed a little comic relief today. :-)
Great post. Very funny, I love it.
Hee-Hoo! Thanks for the laugh.
this totally cracked me up!! YOu should submit this as an article....
Loved it!
Shelley
I'm sure I would have really laughed at this-if I hadn't been rejected today. Twice. (On a positive note, I never got rejected by guys twice in one day. At least, not the same guy.)
LMAO. This was great! Uggh, I really dislike dating. I think it's way more painful than querying.
Best Bedtime Story Ever
LOL, very true. Fun post! :0)
Funny stuff, Shelli :) I love anything that helps prepare me for that long road ahead :)
LOVE IT!! That was really great!!!
Great post - and it kinda goes along with April Fool's Day ;)
Lol! Soooo that is what I'm in for. Good thing the end result is worth it lol!
Great post!
xo
Amy
BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!
The analogy was SOOO apt!
Just one thing I beg to differ with, though. You talk about,
Mr. Right trying to find MRS. Right....let's hope that she's REALLY NOT a MRS but a MISS - or at the very least a MS!!! Now that really WOULD be messy. It would be like actually having representation from one Agent (or at least an offer ) and a 2nd Agent trying to swoosh in on a white charger to steal you away...ah..sigh....now I only WISH...that's my kind of scenario!!
Great post from a new follower!
Great list! A few of these sound familiar, but others I haven't been "lucky" enough to get.
Rejecting the rejecters? That's excellent!
Thanks for the laugh.
Fantastic! I really enjoy the rejection of a rejection. Seems very appropriate ;-) I once received a form letter basically telling me I should assume rejection unless otherwise notified. Perhaps that was a: "Right now we're just friends, but I might drunk dial you one night looking for a little something...'
Very clever and funny!
Ha very entertaining post. I like it, especially the rejecting rejection haha... made my day. I would love to say that.
I'm back to let you know that I gave you and this post a shout-out on my blog today. :)
Enjoyed this very much if only because it was waaaaay generous of you and it cheered me to think this is what agentese really means. Alas, I think all responses other than "yes" simply mean "no." :)
Had me laughing nice and early in the morning. Great job!
I shared your "not that into you" post on my blog today. Come visit if you'd like!
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