3 S.R. Johannes: To Dump or Be Dumped?That is the question.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

To Dump or Be Dumped?That is the question.

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To Dump or be Dumped?

OK so I think we need to give Jason a break on Bachelor. Yes he did humiliate poor Melissa on TV... but its The Bachelor! They all wanted to be humiliated on TV - right? No pain no gain. I mean, he humiliated Jillian (who is next bachelorette YEAH!) and Molly so what's the big deal? Who got dumped last? That's the name of The Bachelor game. Someone's heart gets hurt. If you don't want that - I woudl suggest not watching it and especially avoid going on it.

Besides, who here has NOT been dumped or done the dumping?



I would guess that most of us - if not all of us - have had our hearts crushed and have probably sacrificed a few along the way.

I've been both. In my mind it's a right of passage to finding your soul mate and life partner. Breaking boy's hearts and trying to repair my own (though i think you can still see some scars if you look up close) is what got me to my hubby (the best hubby of all!).

So my questions is "To dump or be dumped?" (I have changed the names to protect the innocent/and guilty!). Here's my story......
  • When I was 5 and in kindergarten. I used to nap next to a boy named Charlie. Then one day, I just didn't like his mat anymore. I moved mine next to Jeffrey and Charlie was obviously crushed. And how did he repay my ever-shifting love? He broke my show-n-tell.
  • When I was 8 - it was Dwayne. I just could not see myself with a boy who didn't like bugs. call me crazy but I needed a Real man!

  • When I was 11. It was the HOT DUDE at my local skating rink. The one with the speed skates. Unfortunately, I never knew his name - but his slick scoffed black speed skates and no toe-stop had me at hello! Unfortunately, my shiny white skates with sparkly green laces were not serious enough for him. Not to mention, I broke my wrist trying to show off my "rolling arabesque".

  • When I was 13, I LOVED Jasper. Unfortunately my friend did too. Kim if you are out there- I'm so sorry I won. Trust me - he wasn't worth it!

  • When I was 14 - it was Dairy Queen and Mrs Winters. My beloved DQ. Yes, it was a lonely and fattening year, but a satisfying one.

  • When I was 15 - it was Craig. Scar #1. My first love. I loved Craig. His Miami-vice jacket-wearing ways. I mean this love was the "I'm going to absolutely die and take you with me if you leave me" kind of love. he took me to my first dance and even bothered to match his bow-tie to my large blue dress with sagging hoop skirt. is that love or what? Eventually, he broke my heart and I think I broke his too. :( (Actually, this is his real name - he deserves the credit and title :)

  • When I was 16, it was chris, lucifer, bob, henry... oh never mind... these were all crushes that never really panned out. I guess I didn't send enough tringular-shaped folded notes or something. This was a lonely year :) I even had to beg Chris to take me to the dance - I had to show Craig I had moved on! But he stood me up to watch Caddyshack. Jerk! ;) He is actually still my friend - but don't think it doesn't come up when I need something. I am not above uses grudges for personal gain. (BTW - Chris is his real name too - just another way to get in a dig :)

  • When I was 17, It was Lee. He was cool and made me cooler because he was already in College (18). Not to mention, he took me to see Bon Jovi Dead or Alive Tour (what!!!??? how hot is that?)

  • When I was 19. It was Brad. Poor Brad- he tried so hard. All I can say is - he just fell a few fries short of a Happy Meal; one Fruit Loop shy of a bowl. I guess I could say it clearer, some drink from the fountain of knowledge; Brad only gargled. Ha! I dragged Brad through about 120 breakups over 4 years. The fina straw came when he shaving-creamed "I love you" on my car? It was a mess to clean up!!!!

  • And yes, I've been dumped too. Dumped on my @ss I might add. So badly dumped - my story was actuallyu chosen and published in O Magazine - yes Oprah's Magazine. My first publishing credit - how sad! June 2001 edition, page 136. The article title - short and sweet: DUMPED! I told you it was a bad one. SCAR #2. This one was after 10 years of dating, 2 years of living together, and 2 weeks BEFORE my wedding (yes you read that right). All due to a whole lot of issues and another chick (whom he did marry 5 years later - so at least it was for something!) For the record - he did the right thing in the wrong way. But this one crushed me and literally changed who I am as a person today. I don't think I've ever truly recovered from that heartbreak and I'm OK with that. IThank goodness for the shipment of Superglue that revived my exploded heart. (PS My hubby was the superglue :)

  • And then, my hubby - whom I did mistakenly leave for a period of time when we first started dating. This was due to the aftermath of SCAR #2 and open wounds. I did some soul searching and he gave me a second chance 6 months later. Thank goodness!

Now I live happily ever after :) See how that worked?

So to Jason - you have to follow your heart! It sux to break some along the way. But better now then later. We all make mistakes.

So - let's give the guy a break!

Keep commenting! In just 3 days - we are up to 245!


Anonymous said...

Great post. Dang, you're funny! (in case nobody has noticed that recently--ha!). Love, love, love the "Fountain of knowledge" line. He only gargled! Priceless. V.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and thanks for the info on the Bowen Press Editor. It didn't take her long to land on her feet, didn't it? Somehow that is very reassuring. She just looks like a powerhouse, doesn't she? V.

Carrie Harris said...

I quit watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette after Trista. I'm all for a night of heckling reality TV, but it got so repetitive that I had to repeat heckle. And that's not good at ALL. :)

Casey Something said...

Ha! Great post. I did more breaking than getting broken, but I had my helping or three.

Anonymous said...

There are about three different books in that post, you know...

Unknown said...

Sounds like you have saved so much money on therapy just by a few clicks on the keyboard. Nice.

This was a great read. I agree with A-the fountain comment is good one- very funny.

My first love was kindergarten as well. Michael Hoyt. I pretended we were married by turning my birthstone ring around like it was just a band. I told everyone we were married. He denied it all. Bastard!

Men- can't live with 'em....

Unknown said...

oops- forgot to mention Eddie Mitchell in 6th grade. When I broke up with him he bashed a sheet of styrofoam over my head as I pedalled by on my ten speed.

Found out he is gay recently. Do you think he swore off women forever after me?

The posts on this should be so funny. Or maybe I am the only blogger who needed a little click-clack therapy!

Robyn Campbell said...

Oh man haven't we all felt the PAIN of that abandoned love. I had it and I gave it too, but thankfully I found the right guy, MR. Wonderful. Thanks for reflecting on your pain! Showing us the scars. They're awful but like you said they shape us into who we become. Hopefully people are molded into stronger humans and not weak ones.

Glad the Bowen Press Editor is doing well. Wonderful to see some good come out of something bad!

Kelly Polark said...

I'm not a bachelor watcher, but did watch the first two Rock of Loves...for the train wrecks of course!
Very entertaining post! And yes we have all had our heart broken and stomped on a few along the way.

Sarah Campbell said...

You hit it right on the head! I was thinking the other day about my good buddy in kindergarten and how I wanted him to meet me at the airport when I returned from a trip out of town -- when I was 5.

Head on over to my place, if you dare to see your photo.

Anonymous said...

is anybody on this list young enough to know how e-world kids break-up these days? When my son wanted to break up with his first girl-friend, I absolutely insisted that it not be by a text message. You shoulda seen the panic in his eyes. not sure I won that battle. heartbreak by texting. it's the new way.

Kimbra Kasch said...

I never watch the bachelor...I'm still worried about poor Charlie and wondering about your show-n-tell.

Just can't hop from one person to the next like they do on reality t.v.

King of my Throne said...

Dump or be Dumped? ooohhh! Happens to everyone! i don't think you can live a life with out experiencing this feeling...that is why this show is the success it is. Immediately brings me back in time...when a good friend asked me,"When does the hurt stop? How long does this last?!!
My answer to him...It doesn't! It just gets a little less painful and the amont of time spent thinking of that person becomes less and less until one day you wake up and it is not the first thing/thought of the day.
We have now been married 18 years.

Dorothy said...

Love your blog I recently discovered. Helpful advice.

As far as Jason, I'm convinced the whole set-up was pre-planned. He did put on a good sobbing act, but I think all the falling in and out of love was to keep people talking. Bound to up The Batchelor ratings.

Anonymous said...

I loved Trista and Ryan. Haven't watched since. But! I think I still choose dumping over being dumped. Wait, no. I don't know which is worse!

Casey Something said...

The posts here are hilarious. SO many teens break up via text message these days.

In my day, which wasn't that long ago, I guess, the chicken way out was notes, usually folded in some crazy manner. Like the triangle notes - loved those.

Unknown said...

Here's one- my high school boyfriend and I broke up because he fo' real cheated on me while on the senior cruise. I was skiing in CO while he was doing the nasty!